Breakthrough Performance Coaching for Small Business Owners

7 Things All Leaders Struggle With

values-conscious-fearIn this post, we will explore the two types of values (Fear & Conscious), how they can help or harm you, and what to do about them so you can cut your struggles in half and feel confident in your leadership actions.

Servant Leaders face struggles every day.  That’s normal. But did you know that many of these struggles aren’t necessary?  That’s because many of these struggles are where we get in our own way. Even worse, we do this in the name of living into our values… or so we think.  The reason we get off track is that there are two types of values, but most don’t know about the second type.

Before we get going, take a look at these common struggles caused by Fear-based Values.

7 Common Struggles of Servant Leaders

  1. Reactively lead through Power vs. responding with Authority
  2. Show up defensive and lose credibility with their team
  3. Think they are doing the right thing, but are actually hurting moral
  4. Focused on output vs outcome and fail as a result
  5. Constantly frustrated
  6. Never feel like they’re winning or even feel like there is an option to win
  7. Focus is on avoiding and hurt the culture of their workplace

Two Types of Values

There are two types of Values.  Fear-based and Conscious-based values.  As a little recap, Values are our core beliefs.  They lead to our thoughts, emotions, and actions.  Which means what we believe about our Values directly impact our actions and how we show up.

Conscious-based Values

Conscious-based values and decisions are the good guys.  These are values and decisions developed from our experiences out of choice.  We are actively deciding what we ourselves believe in.

Here’s an example.  Let’s say you have decided to work as a volunteer during the Holiday Season feeding the hungry.  This was not an easy decision because it will be uncomfortable for you. You have never done this and the experience is new.

During your work, you connect with people who are struggling.  You see that making even the smallest connection with another human being has huge impact on all involved.  You feel amazing for helping and are filled with hope. They are too.

From this experience, you learn that Generosity is good.  Your choice to give time ot others helps develop a Core Value of Generosity for you.  

Before this experience, you were having to decide if being uncomfortable was worth it.  Now that you’ve experienced the generosity, you see how much it means.

From now on, decisions about generosity go on auto-pilot.  You don’t even think about the cost of being generous. This Conscious-based Value will be part of your Core Values.

Fear-based Values

Fear-based values are the sneaky little guys that steal your clarity and leave you struggling.  These guys are like a bad GPS route leading you through questionable places. It’s important to know where fear-based values come from, how to spot them, and what to do about them.

Fear-based values come from our experiences too.  Except in these, the experiences were bad. We are learning all the time and we tend to learn a lot about what NOT to do.  That’s actually a good thing.

The part that isn’t good is when we falsely associate an outcome with a Value.  In response, we choose a Value (just like we did in the previous example) because we are afraid.  Living into a Fear-based Value leads us to a catabolic thought process.  

Catabolic energy is like black hole energy.  Extremely powerful, but is continually folding in on itself.  As far as energy goes, catabolic energy leads to victim thinking and anger.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

~ Master Yoda

An example would be a value of protection.  Protection, if chosen because we have been harmed in some way is perfectly normal.  

If you choose protection because you want to provide you and your family a life of security and safety that leads to joy that is a Conscious-based Value.

If you choose protection because you believe that if you don’t you will suffer an attack of some kind then you will constantly live in fear.  And… well… Yoda.

Are you running from something or towards something?  That is the simple test. If you have a Value of Protection, are you running towards the secure thoughts and experiences it provides or are you running from the potential bad situations that are always lurking?

What To Do About It

If you find you have been living a Fear-based Value, don’t worry (SWIDT?).  Your Values are ingrained, but you always have a choice. The first step to conscious living is to be aware of what you are doing unconsciously.

Here’s how… Identify your values.  Does your value have you running from something or towards something?  If it is towards something you chose, live into it.  

If your Value has you running from something ask yourself what might have given you this thought?  Often if you find the source, you can choose to think differently about the situation and therefore move to a more conscious way of thinking about it.

Changing the way we think about something is the best way to eliminate fear-based thinking from our lives.  If you are struggling with this and want some help, reach out to me in the Contact Section. We can even use the Free Strategy Call offer to get clear on it.

Ryan McKinney

Ryan McKinney

Ryan is a leadership coach, sought after speaker, and transformational workshop facilitator. He works with highly successful business leaders to develop discipline, enhance leadership, and build confidence so they can enjoy the success they deserve without giving up what they want most.

Join The Leaders Circle Community

Are you looking for great material to use with your team? Join and get free access to paid content.